September 2009
18 posts
Feelings.
How do you choose between them?
I love you, I hate you.
I hate you for loving me and I hate you for hating me.
You could write a song and I’d sing along
but the words mean nothing,
finally I realize your words mean nothing.
Late night phone calls, bed time stories,
your laugh, your smile through the phone.
All this past doesnt make up the future.
You dont make up my future.
I read so many words that I could use to try,
to try to convince you to come back,
remember, hold on.
But they’re just words.
We can all relate, can’t we?
I could tell you no one will love you better.
Pretentious? Maybe. The truth? Possibly.
They’re wasted words though.
Just a breath of air, coming from my lips.
“So many nights I feel the empty space where you were never there to begin with. I yearn for the gentle arms to enclose around me whilst we fall asleep. Your hands folded comfortably into mine. Your lips. You.”
—
“Why is my heart not letting me let go of something that wasn’t meant to be? Why am I wishing so hard on shooting stars that don’t exist and keeping four leaf clovers I never had? Why am I being so completely weak when I told myself that I had only a few more weeks left before I erased you completely?”
—
I'm doing fine.
Just sometimes I think of you. Like when I roll over and you’re not there. Or a stranger’s hand brushes mine. Or a fleeting memory photographed in my mind pops up. Those are the worst. That’s when I can smell you, feel you. It’s crippling really.
But I’m fine.
